Advising & Mentoring is not “babysitting”

 

As a consultant make sure you leave clear this my friend.

 

I began my consultancy business back in end of 2009.

 

At the beginning my activity was more focused on “doing” and so, management.

 

Clients hired me to develop and manage all those duties that actually they didn’t want to deal with.

 

But as my business grew, as I started showing results to clients also based on the strategies I proposed and as years passed by and my profile achieved seniority it naturally passed from less management aka “being the Rottweiler” projects to strategy and development which include of course advising and mentoring.

 

Today and after almost 17 years in the fashion industry, 9 of those with my consultancy studio, my services are focused on strategy and development which include: advising, mentoring and contact providing services.

 

But as all stages of our professional career have areas to struggle with, today one of my biggest challenges is to “train” clients to what advising and mentoring is.

 

Either they believe is coaching or a sort of new way of calling management.

 

And it is not.

 

It’s about leading. It’s about showing the way to open new paths in order to increase results.

 

This is my poetical version of it of course.

 

In a more pragmatic way it is telling clients what they should and should not do strategically wise and based on years of expertise to avoid spending unnecessary money, time and resources. It is about connecting them with the industry and gaining awareness of who they are and where they stand inside the business system.

 

But it is not, at all… babysitting.

 

Clients, brands, companies have to take responsibility of their business.

 

So as all of us that operate in this industry do.

 

As a consultant I can not be responsible for their decisions.

 

I love my job, love my business and love to be in service to others so to help them achieve their results, and I will continue to give my best to support for them to take action and responsibility.


Keep Kryptonite people away

 

 

 

We all know how it feels to be around people that make you feel less, unworthy or simply not yourself…

 

Some of these people may also be among the most important ones in your life such as family, long term friends, life partners and so on…

 

I’ve learnt that if we surround ourselves with people that make us feel unworthy it’s because of two main reasons:

 

1- We feel unworthy or not enough inside so we attract people that make us feel more of that, so unworthy

2- Or because we learnt this wrong pattern of love when we were a child

 

In the second case, if you received from the ones that should love you in first hand a treatment of low esteem, manipulation, aggression, or they simply ignored you and make you constantly feel that you were not enough, then your subconscious will think that those toxic behaviours are love. And so you will love and accept in your life people that give you this treatment.

 

I allowed in my life, for many… many years, what I call toxic people. Takers and abusers that treated me with no respect, with envy, with manipulation and abusing me with disrespectful behaviours.

 

But I learnt that they didn’t take my power away, I allowed them to take my power and self-esteem away. So same as I gave it to them, I can now take it back. And so I did. This my friends, gives you a lot of freedom.

 

You have to be willing to exclude them from your life and yes this may feel scary but by doing this you will be creating space for new positive people to come.

 

Always and no matter what surround yourself with people that empowers you, support you and where you can be simply yourself. This is the most powerful thing you can do for you.

 

Never disappoint yourself by accepting others that do not care about you.


Allow your emotions and reconnect with yourself

 

There is something I want to share with you this week.

 

Something I was aware recently, and never before.

 

We all know how powerful emotions are, but what many of us are not fully aware (and I include myself until this week) is that emotions allow us to connect with the world and with life itself.

 

In a society where “the mind” is the dictator and often emotions are seen as “bad”, we often do not allow us to “feel” but we just focus to “think”.

 

Feeling creates a connection between YOU and what surrounds you, so this means it grounds you with life.

 

Due to personal experiences I learnt this week to pay attention more to what I feel than to what I think. As feelings use the magnificent tool of the body, and the body doesn’t lie, whatever you feel is real, VS what you may think that is more often an illusion your mind creates based on your limiting believes.

 

Emotions needs to be like experiences, they come and go. It is important not to “hold” on emotions as they may create blocks inside of you, but yes to allow them, be aware of them and grateful.

 

In simple words, when you want to cry, do so, to laugh do so, to scream do so. As long as you do not hurt anyone, allow that energy to pass through you, acknowledge and embrace it and listen what your body feels about it. Do not hold it, but use it as an amazing tool of connection between you and life itself.


Why women push success away?

 

Because we feel guilty. And we feel guilty because we feel unworthy, and we feel unworthy because we do not love ourselves. Simple as this.

 

The base of all is the lack of self love.

 

We grow up in society thinking we NEED some external approval  to complete us.

 

For a woman to have success takes a lot of determination, to fight with society, to fight with the patriarchal system and to fight with herself: insecurities and lack of self love.

 

For all these reasons we tend to push success away.

 

We allow others to hold us back, we give permission to others to say, think and do.

 

But we do not give permission to us for the same.

 

I’ve been experiencing this, while my business is growing and bigger projects are on the way, I am self-sabotaging myself by not allowing to fully succeed.

 

I pay attention to others’ opinions, and not what I BELIEVE about myself.

 

I am aware that I am leading  the projects and organizations I am currently involved and that without my contribution the situation will not evolve, and yet I find often myself allowing  FEW people to make me believe I am not relevant, but yet they try to constantly use and be part of what I am creating.

 

Yesterday a friend mentioned me that I am a natural connector, and because of this I am able to help projects and others to create, grow and evolve.

 

Now I realize that for many years I didn’t allow to recognize this to myself and therefore didn’t  give  the space my role has in all these situations that I help to create, heal and succeed.

 

I now realize that the awareness of “owning” who you are and what  you give to the world is crucial, for years society told us that being bold is ego-driven, but this is not true, ladies, being bold is our true nature, PLAYING small is ego-driven.

 

The other day, almost joking I said to a friend, it must be all EVA’s fault when she decided to eat the apple. It was a joke of course, but thinking about it better, it was more than that.

 

As far as history tells us, Eva was expelled from Heaven because she ate the apple and give it to Adam to eat it as well. And the apple was the “knowledge and consciousness” and she was pushed away just because she thought she had the “right to know”.

 

This continues to happen nowadays. Still today if a female entrepreneur, business woman or manager wishes to succeed, there is a fearful group of people, mostly men but also and what it is worst, brainwashed women, that tries to push you down.

 

It is our responsibility to stop giving our power to these people, and to allow us to be bold, present and successful, because our success will always open doors and systems and by this, it will help to improve the world as well.

 

And is it what we all came into this world for?

 

 

 

 


Is fashion an “EGO” driven industry?

 

Well, probably yes.

 

You know what they say, as long as there is a body there will always be an ego.

 

Let’s face it, we all have fallen into the ego trap more than once.

 

Years ago, I learnt not to fight ego but to embrace it. Ego is part of us, of being human.

 

It is necessary, we need to have conscience of it. And so also the need of filling our life with things and objects so to avoid somehow the emptiness we feel inside.

 

Some people buy fashion items because they want to show the wealth they have, some people buy just to consume and pile objects they will never use, some other to cover their vulnerability  with a mask. I suppose this is the obvious side of fashion.

 

But it is also true that fashion, like everything in life, has a bright side.

 

Fashion involves creativity which includes self-expression, emotions that are linked to colors, beauty that brings healing.

 

There is a part of the fashion industry that is more and more focusing into the abundance mindset. Brands that are embracing corporate social responsibility, ethics, and human rights.

 

As I said before, ego is necessary to see what we are doing wrong and it is because of all the bad aspects of this industry that a part of the fashion had the urge to create a positive development.

 

Every season, in every event, show, business project I see more and more a positive evolution in this industry. It is small, yes, but it is happening, and I truly believe that it is changing because WE, as humans, are evolving and changing, it is part of nature, it is part of evolution.

 

Again, EGO will always be a part of the fashion industry, but for sure we can redimension it.

 


When you feel the urge of a change

 

I was reading this week an article that discusses about this, the need of change that as humans we often have.

 

It's been said that we are animals of habits, and yes this is true as well so probably this is the reason why we procrastinate when it comes to take action and change?

 

Fact is that specially when it comes to professional issues, we have the urgency of change after years of doing the same job, routine or working for the same company.

 

This is way more present in some generations than others of course, but specially in young managers change thrives them!

 

I've been experiencing this myself lately, I had the urgency last year to press the reset button and change direction of my business into new adventures that resonates more with who I am today. I reflect a lot about this and same as you change and evolve as a person, your professional career needs to move accordingly.

 

Specially if you are a freelance or an entrepreneur, your business is an extension of yourself, and therefore if you evolve, your business has to evolve as well.

 

We often avoid listening to that inner voice that pushes us to explore different paths that are more aligned with what we really are and have become, instead we keep for years and years in projects, companies and places that do not fulfill us anymore, and why we do this to ourselves? Because of fear, the fear of the unknown.

 

My friends, worse than fear is to live unhappy, I often use this trick, when I NEED to make changes because time is up and there is no sense for me to stay in a project or company and the fear of jumping without a net arises, I picture myself doing something that no longer makes me happy for a year. The sense of sadness and unhappiness is way stronger than my fear of not seeing clear the new path. It takes a lot of trust of course, but it pays ten-fold.


Am I turning to be a Fashion Coach?

 

Maybe…

 

To be honest with you I do not fully understand what a coach is.

 

I know it implies to motivate others, yes, but in a more detailed way I do not know what it is as I haven't studied to be one.

 

The problem with the “coaching “ services nowadays, is that many people that haven't the skills or the training to do so are selling these services. And I personally find this very annoying.

 

Lately I've been called many times “fashion coach”and I was very surprised!

 

Once more, like in almost everything in life, are others the ones to label us. I haven't put any name to how my professional path is evolving. All I am doing is following my intuition and embracing the new ways of communication which include public speaking, social media and videos.

 

My big “big reason why” since the beginning was to motivate, lead and help others achieve their goals in the fashion industry. In order to do this I apply my almost 15 years of experience (gosh, I am getting so old!!) in this fashion industry.

 

I consider myself an expert, yes, as I have enough experience to say that I know the dynamics of this sector like my ears!

 

But I suppose others see in me the “coaching” skills as well, and voilà the name-drop appeared more than once already.

 

In any case, I am so happy and blessed to see that you guys value what I work hard to create for you, that you appreciate the fact that I really want to help you overcome difficulties in this industry and that together we will create better business environments to improve all.

 

More fashion business tips, advices and insights are on the way, and I am working to create better platforms where we can share all this together.

 

So yes, if you wish, I am your fashion /coach/expert friend, ready to be in service for you!


Do something different today

 

Whatever comes to your mind.

 

But please do something different today.

 

I came with this idea a few days ago, that I want to share with you after a quote I read about the fact that most of our struggles or difficulties come because  we do the same things in the same way.  We are animals of habits, isn’t it?

 

But we know that in order to achieve results we need to first try different ways of doing things, there is always a trial-and-error thing that needs to happen before success arrives.

 

Doing stuff differently not only allows you to explore different aspects of yourself but also it allows you to stretch your fears and improve your limiting points.

 

Methodology is a great thing but needs to evolve and change, as we grow and change as well.

 

If you have a way to write or read or create, try something slightly different today and see where this change leads to.

 

Of course avoid touching bulletproof methodology that helps you achieve results, but you do have for sure areas of improvement specially when it comes to your business of work that you’ve being trying to work out and hasn’t give you any good result, if there is, please try different ways of doing it today.

 

Just fools avoid the change, as they are convinced they have figured out everything in life, truth is that we don’t, as humans we are constantly learning, so try to learn something different today!

 

 


My personal way of doing business in Fashion

 

I had the time recently to read some of the articles as well as the posts I have been sharing with you so far.

 

Now I understand why many of you are asking me if I am developing myself as a fashion coach.

 

Every time I receive a feedback from you saying this, it surprises me!

 

I think I didn’t have time to put myself a label. In fact the ones of you that know me, know that I avoid labels.

 

I’ve started writing, advicing, mentoring and sharing material with you all without developing any sort of marketing strategy.

 

My marketing strategy is simply saying things from the heart. That’s all.

 

All the material I’ve been sharing with you focuses on the business side of fashion yes, but also and most important on the human side of fashion. Because my friends, it is the important thing. And yes, there is also a human side in fashion.

 

It is hidden, it is small, but there is.

 

I suppose, without knowing it, just by following my instinct, I’ve been developing a different way to do business in the fashion industry.

 

With my clients, with my students as well as my personal branding.

 

I want to have a more holistic and human approach as I feel this is what is needed dramatically at present.

 

I always say to my clients that it takes a lot of creativity to do successful business.

 

Yes, creativity to explore and understand unconventional ways to arrive to people.

 

The formula is not anymore Business to Business but People to People.

 

I truly believe we have the opportunity and right to create the business formula that we think fit the time we are currently living.

 

From my side, my way to do business is by always focusing, as much as possible, to the human aspect of projects, having understanding that what we are creating is something that will be developed from people and used by people, and it does not matter if it is a collection, an event, a show or a product.

 

A human approach is the key and do things always from the heart not from fear.

 

 


Follow your own steps, not your parents’ Karma

 

Maybe because we’ve just started the 2018.

 

Maybe because it is something I’ve been working on last  year, truth is that it has  been a while since I wanted to share this concept with you.

 

When you become an adult, when you think you are an adult, and you choose to have responsibilities in life, you become also much more aware of the heritage your parents have left you.

 

And I am not talking about homes, cars or other material things…

 

I am talking about all those talents, skills and believes that live in you because of their biological heritage.

 

It is a gift, a huge gift that lives in you.

 

But we are more than that. We are also our own experiences, choices and what we build in life.

 

And we may  forget this.

 

It is easy to fall into the trap of creating habits and making choices that do not belong to us, but that we emulate from our parents.

 

Today I am here to tell you to be careful with that.

 

You have to make your own choices and not copy the choices  your parents made along their way and you saw. Specially when you were a kid.

 

I personally realize this year, that I had put myself in many situations, created life situations because of choices and habits I took from my parents.

 

Some lead to great results, some to the opposite.

 

Either case, none of them were my own  choices, but I was copying  them from behaviours of my parents. I thought it was the right way to do things.

 

But it was not my methodology.

 

As humans we need to learn from others, and this is great.

 

Emulating and molding your parents in what is positive, is good.

 

But make sure you are not doing the same with wrong behaviours as well.

 

Make your own choices, test your own habits. Make your life yours.

 

Create your own path, and do not copy your parents.

 

This will create Karma.