Your body is a messenger

 

I read once that we have the body we need to surf this life.

 

The body we were born with is the perfect tool for all the people and situations we meet.

 

But we often treat ourselves so bad, we often compare our figure and silhouette with others, and we want to copy them.

 

In other words, we want to change our natural form.

 

And this is so wrong.

 

Don't get me wrong, to evolve and improve ourselves to a healthier version is ok.

 

To feel frustrated and disgusted and desperately try to cancel who we are, not!

 

It took me years to appreciate the body that I have.

 

Years to see in all those forms and shapes my genetical baggage, my ancestors, my beauty and learn to love it.

 

Still now, it is an everyday task for me.

 

But at least I learnt to appreciate and acknowledge that every aspect of it has a meaning, and that every bold curve is meant for a reason.

 

Today I am writing to all my female friends.

 

We always tend to be so harsh on ourselves.

 

Society has taught us this way, I work in fashion, an industry that contributes a lot in this distorted vision of ourselves.

 

But I think it is time to look all in a different perspective.

 

If you are not ready yet to feel proud of the beautifully "package" you were born with, please at least have the fully conviction that every right or wrong part is perfectly designed to help you overcome  or flow the phases of your lifetime.

 

It's  time to start embracing  our beautiful bodies.


When you obsess with things, you push them away

 

Have you noticed this? That the more we obsess with things, the more they wait to come?

 

This is because of the "wanting and needing" process.

 

When we obsess or  think we need and desperate want something, we are having all those thoughts coming from fear feelings.

 

Fear is by far one of the most strong feelings that pushes things away.

 

Do not get me wrong, to desire things is ok. To visualize them as well. But after you do that, you have to simply let go the when's and the how's...

 

Leave that to the universe and focus on being in a state of receiving, that's all.

 

And things will come when they have to and when you allow them.

 

I know it is hard. As humans we want things to happen the minute we desire them, and we struggle when we have to wait. Patience is key.

 

Lately I’ve experienced this, I was expecting and needing things to happen and months were passing by, just the moment I surrendered to the situation and decided to let it go, all appeared to me, as per magic.

 

Susan Ferraro, a great coach I follow, says: Life is not happening To you or for you, life is happening FROM you.

 

Tonight I want to share this with you, hope it will be helpful.


When writing becomes therapy

 

And it heals you…

 

I’ve started to write by chance,  the motivation was to share my thoughts and insights of the fashion industry with others.

 

I really trully wanted to help as many people as possible to deal and survive an industry that I know so well.

 

But during the process something happened.

 

It all evolved.

 

I found myself writing more about personal and self development than fashion itself.

 

Which gave me a great understanding that before fashion or methodology what comes first is the knowledge for the self.

 

How we feel, what we want, how we approach things as humans, indipendently of the job we do.

 

This process has given me so much, an incredible mental clarity of what I want to do with my life and my business as well a show I want to serve others.

 

And all began by chance, just by writing a blog.

 

And it became my weekly ritual, my therapist.

 

When you put your ideas on paper, you are clarifying goals, and cleaning mental fog.

 

When you write to help others, then this becomes a mission and it gives you back 10 –fold of what you share.

 

I am writing this post today to encourage you to write.

 

Try this amazing experience.

 

You don’t have to be a writer, you don’t have to be an author, you just have to find a format or support where to write that gives you the possibility to share who you are as well as your offer and helpful vision of life to others.

 

Make sure you contribute to others as well as to the world.

 

Be you when you write, this is by far the best gift you can give to others.

 

Writing may become your best psychoanalyst friend.

 

 

 


How to achieve "working" freedom

The secret is called "passive income".

Let me explain you better this.

 

It does not matter that you work as a freelance, employee or business owner.

One thing is to work for passion, because you want to and another because you have to.

But we all need money to live and pay the bills, right? So how do we solve this?

 

Simple, focus on creating a passive income!

Now you may be saying "cool Farah! But what is a passive income?"

 

Well it is all those situations that put money in your pocket without you being present.

To make you understand, when you receive money in your account while you are sleeping, amazing, right?

And how you do this, it is by adding assets to your belongings.

An asset is something that puts money in your pocket, for example: a house you rent, a garage you rent, a business you co-own and receive the profits for it, an online store you sell your products on, stocking market etc etc.

 

It is not just stuff for people like Donald Trump, we all can do it!

It takes effort, yes and time of course but picture this, how you will feel regarding your job or career if you had all your monthly expenses covered by your passive income assets?

Yes, exactly ..... FREE.


And who cares?

What other people say, for instance…

 

We live in a society where we tend to compare to each other, constantly. We focus more on what the neighbour is doing instead of focusing on our own life, career or relationships.

 

All this leads to one of the most toxic feelings of all, envy.

 

If you envy others, you are sending the signal to the universe saying “I hate that he/or she has that and I don’t” so what you actually are getting back is actually that, the lack of not having what you want.

 

So if you don’t manage to get happy for others, at least do not envy others, believe me, it will pay ten-fold.

 

My advice? Apply the “who cares what others do or say” system. It is ok to watch others to get motivated, but stop at that point and focus on your own stuff.

 

As I always say, I can be responsible for my actions but not for what others think about my actions, so therefore I try my best to make each decision from the heart and not from fear or insecurity by caring what others will say or, worst, not say.
So again, if you notice that you are paying more attention and energy to the feedbacks of others instead of your project, life or future, be aware and redirect your feelings into something positive rather than reactive.


When you put too much on your plate…

 

And as a result you feel overwhelmed…

I am afraid this is a common practice when you are a freelance or an entrepreneur.

To put too much on your plate.

But not only.

We all tend to put too much weight on our shoulders.

In our career but also in our personal life.

And if you are a woman, who uses to manage “multitasking” as a pro, then the weight  increases  X 100!

You push yourself too much until you arrive to that point where you collapse.

And this is not good.

If you are someone that needs to be stimulated constantly you will tend to do this.

Dealing with 10 projects at the same time plus saying yes to all the requests of family and friends.

And you know what happens when you are doing this? You are saying no to yourself.

Yes, exactly, you are simply not considering yourself, but others: projects and people.

I’ve learnt how important it is to balance things.

I was almost all my life a YES person.

And because of this I almost pushed myself into burnout.

Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with balancing things, many times.

Still dealing with too much stuff to deal with at the same time, because of my business.

But now at least I am aware of this behaviour and when you have awareness you can change things.

You know what they say: “How to eat an elephant? One bite at the time”.

Patience, is key, specially as an entrepreneur.

 


My love for fashion has evolved

 

 

Just like an old couple.

Like an old marriage.

It evolves.

 

At first I was driven by passion and excitement.

After more than 12 years, excitement almost disappears, and passion evolves into something more consistent.

Like in couples, you start seeing more defects, and more reality.

The allure of the early days disappears, and as it gets more and more familiar, you just feel a bit annoyed.

 

At first I thought it was negative, but as I analyzed it from another perspective I figured out that my relationship with fashion has become stronger.

And again, like with long-term marriages, even if many times they don’t stand each other,  simply can’t think your life without.

 

My love for fashion has evolved, specially in the last 3 years, into something bigger.

My love for the industry and what we create has evolved into a long-term trustful partnership.

I do not feel anymore like I need to be part of it. I feel that the industry “needs” me to be part of it.

Finally it is an equal relationship, where no-one gets more than the other.

And I must say that it finally feels so good that things are balanced.

 

I have a bigger vision now of why I am in it. A bigger mission of what I can create, and my values fit inside, I don’t have to compromise anymore into changing myself to fit in.

Now it is the opposite, fashion fits in my new lifestyle, as I set the boundaries and the rules.

 

I feel happy and grateful for this new way of living career and business and I hope you join me in this new vision I am creating to improve this industry that I chose to become my longest relationship.


Investing in yourself

This is the biggest investment you will do in your life, bigger than a home, a fancy car, a jewel or a luxury trip.

Invest in you.

A couple of years ago I thought this.

At first, due to our culture, religion, education etc it is hard to do it.

You simply fight with it because you feel guilty.

You feel that you are being selfish and narcissist.

I am Italian, and grown up in a catholic religion where since day one you’ve been taught to give, give and give to others. Constantly and no matter what.

Now giving is mandatory, and it is simply amazing to help others, it is the right thing to do.

But first, you need to give to yourself, in order to then be in the position to help others.

Do you remember what they tell you when you fly? In case there is no oxygen in the cabin, you have the oxygen mask dropping, they always say that FIRST make sure you put your mask so after you can help others to put theirs, why? Well because if you don’t breath first how can you help others breath?

Simple, right?

Same with all the rest…

But when you have been “trained” to give and not to receive, it is hard, so hard to clean all these limiting believes layers that hide within you.

So here is when “investing in yourself” is crucial.

My advice is to start doing it with small things: a yoga lesson, an online course, a book, changing that old pair of jeans and buying new ones… etc.

Until you manage to create a proper yearly investing plan.

If you are an entrepreneur like me, this is crucial, specially if you operate in a fast moving industry like fashion, where you have to constantly reinvent yourself.

There are many ways to do so, I will share some with you in my next post, so keep an eye on it!

 

 


Fashion and rejection

 

Common in fashion is to be rejected.

You may be rejected for your ideas, the way you present yourself, simply the way you think.

Rejection begins in the early stages of your career, when you are a student.

Your project and the feasibility of their execution may be put into discussion.

Like in everything in life, external factors are always out of your control, and this involves how people see things and how they react to them.

This is a fact.

And you learn this, again, in the very early stages of any career.

For years I thought that rejection in the fashion industry was something “evil”.

Something those insecure people  do  just for the heck of doing so, without objectiveness.

Simply wrong.

But rejection may be useful as well. Why?

You learn from it.

You learn what you have to improve, and most important, you learn to filter things.

And this, is the best learning of all.

Not to be affected by others’ perception of things.

I recently found myself dealing with a project not fully related to fashion.

I met people from this related sector, and was surprised to see how sensitive they get with rejection.

Then, I was aware of the huge training I had in my fashion career.

When you are rejected constantly since day one. And therefore you learn to divide personal taste and bad attitude from objective behaviour.

The world is beautiful because is big, abundant and different. There is space for all the esthetic and ideas that every one of us can produce and create.

You will be rejected from some as much as loved from others.

Rejection can be a strength for you if you decide to switch it from something negative to something positive.