Why we compare with others?

 

Same as procrastination is fear, comparison comes from fear as well.

 

Not directly but indirectly as it comes from the deep inner need of external validation.

 

I was reflecting on this the other day, why we constantly compare to others, it is true that we are social animals and same as we are, we need to mirror ourselves so to grow and evolve, saying this, the need to compare ourselves is a different thing.

 

By comparing ourselves to others we judge: others and ourselves.

 

And it is through this nonsense of judgement that we get lost, we forget ourselves and by default we lose balance.

 

To me, every time I fail into the trap of comparison I lose center, I disconnect from myself and I start fearing that I am not good enough.

 

But specially now that I’ve started this path of public speaking as a vehicle to share my message with my industry, sometimes and mostly because of social media platforms I compare myself  to others, it is inevitable, and as a woman, comparison goes beyond “what I say”, it also goes to “how I say it or how I look”…

 

But as per everyting in my life, spirituality and its practice helps me to be grounded, to remember who I am, and that as everyone else in this world I am unique and no-one can be me same as I can not be anybody else.

 

It is so simple to get lost or out of track, and it takes often so much effort to be aligned, that I’ve learnt it is also important to embrace those shadows of ourselves, if we tend to judge, to compare or to procrastinate, we all know that comes from fear, and fear is our ego, which again, is part of ourselves.

 

To embrace our ego, not to fight it, but to know it is part of us, will lead us to understand us more as a whole, and to love ourselves more, and it is through being as much as possible into a state of love that we evolve and are in alignment with life and the universe.

 

This in the end is what we actually came here to do, evolve and be aligned through love.

 

So next time you feel the need to compare yourself, please reflect on this, do not fight it, simply embrace it and then go back to your natural state of being. Which is love.

 

It will be beneficial to you and others, my friend.

 

 

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The difference between a trend, a calling and a purpose

 

Reflecting the other day about the new services I am providing after the book was launched, I came with the awareness of how different is to build an idea, product or service based on a trend, a purpose or a calling.

 

If you create something trend-based it may be strong and work fast business-wise but it will not last. So as entrepreneurs we are often aware about the importance of creating from purpose. We have always “the big reason why” prior that service or product we launched.

 

But I know my friends, that this is not enough.

 

Yes, it is not enough.

 

Don’t get me wrong, a purpose is a great thing, but it comes from a place of “have to”. When you focus on your big reason why, you know there is something you can solve, evolve or create with your business that will be beneficial for your clients.

 

And again, this is a great thing.

 

But today I am asking you to reflect on this: the calling.

 

If you are one of my readers then you are a spiritual person, and even one of my Fashion Light Workers!

 

So I know I can share this with you.

 

The difference between a purpose and a calling is that the first one comes from the head and the logic and sometimes also from the heart, the second one comes from the spirit.

 

The calling is a bigger thing. It is a fire you have inside that pushes you and helps you to move mountains.

 

The calling is given to you from the Universe, in the form of an idea, a product, or a service.

 

When you build your company based on the calling, then your business partner and your bank is the Universe, and the products and services you are building are good for you and your clients, yes, but also good for the world.

 

You’ve been asked to help the world evolve and grow and leave it a better place. And this is the greatest service or product you can build.

 

So today I am encouraging you to reflect on your calling, what is it?

 

We all have one my friend, go ahead and find yours… and if you want I am here to help you.

 

 

 

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Are we really ready for a change in the fashion industry?

 

My friends, I hope your 2019 will be an amazing year of positive transformation!

 

As you know, we start already with tight and crazy calendars in the fashion industry, as January is already a month full of fashion weeks, trade shows and events.

 

Same as many of us, I use the Christmas holidays to rest, take care of myself and my loved ones and recharge my energy.

 

I’ve been reading, journaling and meditating, doing all my spiritual practice support to make sure I start the year and the new fashion calendar cycle with the levels of energy required.

 

While I was doing all this work, a question strongly resonated inside me: are we ready for the changes society is currently and strongly requesting in the fashion industry?

 

As I suppose many of you have read, 2018 was a year full of awakening, news and transparency, lots of unhealthy behaviours that were hiding during decades came into light, and the reason of this is that we live in a world where we have more and more access to information, so transparency is mandatory! And so the fashion industry starts to realize this and to learn it in a tough way in 2018.

 

But is the industry really ready to accept transparency, ethics and sustainability? And I am not talking just from the product point of view.

 

My personal answer to this is: it depends, are you really ready for it?

 

Because that is the real question…

 

If you are reading this post, most probably you work in the fashion industry.

 

So I invite you to reflect for a second and ask yourself this question, are you ready to step out and embrace and implement positive changes? Because it all starts first with US and our personal choices in this industry.

 

As professionals, consumers or simply lovers of this industry, our choices have a huge impact.

 

The problem is that we often think we don't. And we excuse ourselves hiding behind a group or the abstract concept of “THE INDUSTRY” pretending we are not part of it, and so part of the problem and the solution as well.

 

You know I am a big fan of personal empowerment and free will, I am a true believer that it all starts from us, from within, and that one simple unique and small positive action may become a huge impact in the world.

 

So let's make it, let's commit that our action will lead to a positive change in the fashion industry in this expansive and abundant 2019.

 

 

 

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Financial stability is achieved when you pay yourself first…

 

I’ve just finished to do yoga and this concept came so clear into my mind that I dropped out of the yoga mat and right into my computer to write!

 

Like every human on Earth, I have had my highs and lows when it comes to financial matters, first as an employee ad then as a business owner.

 

In the last years I have learnt so much about the financial universal laws, the fact that money is energy, an exchange of value and how it is connected to how you value yourself and some other important concepts that I will share with you soon as I am writing a full chapter about this in my second book!  :)

 

But there is one mandatory thing we need to be aware and implement when it comes to achieving financial stability and it is the concept of paying yourself first…

 

You know they say “you can not give from an empty vase”…

 

Let me explain you this better, for years I paid “others” first, banks, suppliers, government, clients… all.

 

Leaving myself, my needs, often times uncovered which created in me a lack mentality thinking there is NEVER ENOUGH money, and you know what I often say, where you put the focus it expands, so I attracted more of that, LACK.

 

If you pay yourself first which means, paying your needs: rent, groceries, wants and THEN all the rest, you are taking care of yourself by giving self-love and worthiness, you are saying to yourself “hey, you deserve it” and then you are creating an abundance mindset as you are seeing ENOUGH everywhere!

 

I know sometimes it is hard to do this, as business owners you may have months where you need to pay taxes and suppliers and many other things, I am not saying not to do it, but make sure you cover yourself and your needs first.

 

In this society we tend to give priority to others and external situations rather than opposite which is us!

 

And this my friends will lead in just one thing: struggle.

 

Pay yourself first, always, make sure your food, your rent, your health and your emotional needs are covered and you will achieve financial stability, money will flow to you quickly and easy.

 

 

 

 

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Voices of Fashion on Mental Health

 

My dear friends,

 

today this post is not about any tip or advice, directly, but to share with you an amazing event that ICAAD is organizing in London on December 6th 2018.

 

The event is a Mental Health Conference where we will be exploring: how can we best support creativity and mental health within the Fashion Industry.

 

As you know, and after the launch of my book “Fashion. Business. Spirituality: a call to the light workers of the fashion industry” I decided to participate and collaborate with people, companies and institutions that want to help the fashion industry evolve into a more healthier one.

 

I am thrilled and honoured to participate in the round table and panel of discussion of the event together with amazing professionals such as Lillie Naor, Anabel Maldonado http://www.tpof-thepsychologyoffashion.com and Fabian Hirose https://www.fabianhirose.com among other amazing professionals.

 

As I said many times, it is about time that we take action and discuss openly about all the issues that are affecting our industry. It is not about pointing the fingers but to take responsibility about the problematics that we are facing becuse if we do not become conscious and mindful about it and take action, then we become part of the problem as well.

 

In case you will be in London, I am sharing here the link to the event, I would love to meet you and see you there!

 

Thank you Icaad for the opportunity!

 

https://www.icaad.com/voices-of-fashion-on-mental-health

 


When you help others easily but struggle to help yourself…

 

If you choose the career of being in service to others, then you understand what I am talking about, right my friend?

 

Sometimes it is frustrating, sometimes you feel even angry with yourself.

 

When for you it’s simply so natural to help others achieve their goals, succeed, evolve, find balance and happiness… but you often struggle to help yourself…

 

When I reached my mid 30’s I started teaching at fashion schools by case, I was offered to teach in a course for creating accessories collections, and then all became clear to me.

 

I knew I was “designed” to teach, to mentor and to guide.

 

I simply love it, it brings so much joy to my heart to help my students, my clients and the companies or institutions I collaborate with to grow.

 

As a mentor specialized in professional and entrepreneurship mentoring I often work on incubation and acceleration programs, and one of the most beautiful things I am so grateful for is that the success of my clients will bring success to the world as well.

 

But if from one side, I may say I have a successful career, and achieve great goals for both my clients and directly or indirectly for myself, not often this is the same when it comes to the personal aspects of my life.

 

As per every other human being I had to face loss, heartbreak, loneliness among others and as much as I can bring healing to others, it is so hard for me to bring healing to myself.

 

In all these situations, spirituality has always been a great support, that keeps me grounded and balanced and rooted when the storms of life come. But I always found so curious these “two faces of the coin”, being  able to help others avoid struggles of life, and not being able to help myself to do the same.

 

Last week I had a call with one of my best friends, she has been a guide to me, a mentor for more than 20 years, and she mentioned: “Farah, this is how it is supposed to be, you learn how to help others thanks to the struggles you had to face in life… so by overcoming these struggles you can show the way to others… you are leading, and to lead is often lonely… but this is the path you chose”. After talking to her all became clear, this is the path I chose.

 

We are all teachers in this world, some of us choose to teach others professionaly and some personally, some choose to be leaders in some areas of our life and some choose to be lead by others. It is always a giving and receiving process, and it is what makes us evolve.

 

What my friend told me gave me clarity in one thing, I am always  so focused on helping others that I do not allow myself to ask for help when I need it, and as I am human, I need help sometimes like everyone else.

 

So today, once more, I am so grateful for the awareness and the clarity this message gave me and as Gabby Bernstein says “the Universe has your back”, when you need an answer it will always come to you,  most of the time, in the form of a friend or a loved one, if you allow yourself to ask for help"...

 

 

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The beauty of taking decisions

 

There is always a sort of anxious feeling when we think we need to take decisions in our life.

 

We feel the pressure of not fully knowing if it is going to be the right one or the wrong one. There is always a sort of fear to the unknown and often we tend to procrastinate, avoid them and giving the power to others to make those decisions for us which is wrong, very wrong.

 

By doing so we are giving our power away.

 

The problem with decision making is that often we do not give ourselves the proper time to take them. To reflect and analyze all the cause-effect of the decisions we are about to take.

 

We are so obsessed with the need to rush and decide things in a fast pace which is here where the problem starts.

 

By not giving yourself proper time to reflect on the decision, most likely it will lead to not positive results.

 

A week ago I found myself in the situation of making more than one important decision in my life. I felt the pressure, the need to rush and my urge of avoiding the problem. Like all of us. As we are human, we try to avoid pressure.

 

But at one point I realized something. The power of being able to take decisions. To have the freedom to decide my life at my terms. How powerful is that? Think about it for a moment. There are millions of people in different parts of the world that simply do not have the freedom to decide about their lives.

 

They either live in societies that oppress them or in social situations that do so.

 

Every time we need to make a choice in our life we have the power to do so.

 

This is called free will, and it is also written in the Bible!

 

So my advice today my friend is that when you feel the pressure and the need to decide, switch the mindset all the way around. And reflect for a moment, how lucky you are to have the free will, the freedom of choice and the right to make decisions to lead your life.

 

Breath, take your time and reflect before you make those choices.

 

 

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When your purpose is to help others but you struggle to put yourself “out there”... and the picture above shows it!

 

The picture of this post is the previous head shot of the author’s picture of my book.

 

You can tell how nervous I was...

 

I’ve been reflecting on this for long time...

 

Since I decided to write the book, I realize that there will be a point where I had to put myself out there so to reach the community I want to support and help.

 

I started this path by chance, I never planned to write a book, I never planned to teach and mentor, I studied to become a fashion designer, so it was far away my plans what I found myself doing today with passion and love...

 

But as a friend of mine says, “life is more fantastic than a movie” and yes, it is, my friends. If we look back and see how the experiences, the goods and bads, as well as our choices and the people we encounter had put us in the path we are walking today, it will amaze us!

 

Just recently I’ve realized that my true calling in life is to teach. To mentor, to guide.

 

I do this in everything related to my  business, with companies and clients, at schools and institutions and with all the material I share and develop for the community of Fashion Light Workers I am building to help improve our fashion industry.

 

And I LOVE every aspect of it and every moment.

 

But what I was not prepared to, was the communication part of it. I was prepared to lead, yes, to drive, yes, and to stand up for what I believe, but I was not prepared to put myself out there on the media so to reach as many people as possible that need my support and want to join the movement.

 

So today I am sharing with you a secret, that I’ve been struggling, and I must say, a lot with this, with every interview, picture, video or event I had to speak at. I literally didn’t know how to manage hearing my voice, seeing my picture and acknowledge the woman that I was reflecting to others.

 

Today I realize that this is something many of us that choose the path of mentoring, or public speaking as a tool to help others, are struggling with. Specially us women, where society constantly “impose“ you how to look, talk, weight and behave.

 

So today I am writing this post to share with the ones that may need it, my secret. The magical tool I am using to avoid the struggle and the blocks of becoming a sort of “public persona” so to continue creating the movement and the projects I am building to help and improve the industry I am in.

 

Ready?

 

Show yourself as YOU ARE. Period.

 

Do not create a costume, a fake character or something that you are not.

 

Vulnerability is the key.

 

If you do not usually use make up, well do not use it, period. If you don’t usually wear high heels, well, do not use them, if you do not speak  certain way or walk in a certain way, do not do it! Simply be who you are, in a honest and open heart way.

 

For example, I realize that video is a great tool for me to reach the people that I want to support and help, what I call my community of Fashion Light Workers, so when I do my videos I speak as if I was doing a Face Time with a friend! When I feel the urge to give a message I simply take the phone and tape it!  It could be on the street, at home with my dog or when I am travelling for work!

 

Today my friends, I thought to share this information with you, because same as I have been doing it so far, I choose to write every struggle I am finding in the way as I know many people out there are facing similar situations, and if I was able to made it, so you can!

 

This post is larger that the average, but I felt it had to be, so to arrive with the right meaning and the right words, hopefully to you, the one that is facing similar situations.

 

Put yourself out there, as YOU ARE, it will benefit many others.

 

Thank you,

 

Farah

 

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When the Universe is your business partner

I had two business partners in my life.

 

In both cases the relationship was unbalanced and based on fear.

 

Fear of not having success, fear of wanting constantly money and focusing all on the ego.

 

In both cases it ended pretty bad, with lots of suffering for both parties.

 

Then life put me in the spiritual path, and I understood the real reason of all these painful experiences: growth.

 

I learnt about myself, my path on life and my true calling and it was then when my REAL business partner appeared: the Universe.

 

You can call it God, light, life, or Universe, whatever you believe in.

 

The best partner someone can have, the one that will never abuse you or steal you, will never take profit over you but instead choose you so to create together a business that will have a positive impact in the world. The one that has always your back no matter what.

 

As I often say, the best business is the one good for you, good for your client and good for the world.

 

And the Universe knows this well.

 

Today I am sharing my personal story so to help you to reflect on yours.

 

It does not matter if you are an employee or an employer, what business partner do you choose to have?

 

You may have already an amazing one, if so I encourage you both to allow a third one, the Universe, the infinite source, to partner with you so to be guided in the best decisions you can make for your business to help improve the world.

 

Steve Jobs used to meditate 20 minutes before making any business decision, and this is because he had clear who his first partner was, the Universe.

 

If you are in business reflect on this my friend and it will open to you an abundant world of opportunities.

 

 

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The need of professional redemption in the fashion industry

 

Since I started my consultancy business in 2009 I have seen hundreds of times projects based on the need of professional redemption.

 

Clients, companies, brands, all with the same need at the base, confirm their value as professionals by creating products or projects as a form of professional redemption for the fashion industry.

 

I know, I know, all this may sound strange, please allow me to explain it better.

 

Most of us, after years of being treated unrespectfully in the fashion system, when we arrive to the point of burn out and decide that maybe our path is to open a brand, a company or simply freelancing, what lies beneath is a desperate need of redemption, of showing “others” what we were not recognized during our years as employees in the fashion companies we were working in.

 

But this my friends is the wrong motivation.

 

If you decide to become a business owner or a consultant just to “SHOW” others you are capable, you most likely will fail doing so.

 

The motivation behind such a big decision must be the one of service.

 

Yes, exactly. Service to others.

 

The base of a good product or service is that it helps solve your clients problems. Simple as this.

 

So today I am talking to you, my fellow peer in the fashion industry, the one that probaly has been thinking in opening a brand or become a consultant, question yourself, from which place you are making this decision? From the ego driven one? Because you want to show the industry you are a good designer or professional? Do you need the industry approval? And if so why?

 

If you’ve been in this industry for years already, you do not have to prove anything to anyone my friend, you already made it.

 

Rather question yourself how your ideas, that will become products or services, may help your potential customer or clients to solve their needs, if you start a business from this perspective, then, it will become a success. Promise.

 

And if you need me, I am here to help you do it.

 

 

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